Any little shit

One day the organs got together to decide who the boss was.

  • “I should be the boss” said the heart “I make the blood circulate”.
  • “In that case it should be me” said the blood. “Without me the body dies”.
  • “Well without me nothing works” said the brain. “I tell the organs what to do and I make everything function. I should be boss”.

The argument went on for several minutes… all the organs said they should be boss; they talked of how indispensable they were and how important they were to keeping the body alive and well.

 

poo

And then the shit arrived.

  • “This conversation’s over. I’m the boss here so shut up!!!”

All the other organs burst into laughter.

  • “What the hell?!?!?!?” said the liver.
  • “You can’t be the boss!!!” added the kidneys.
  • “You’re just a little shit!!! You do sweet FA!!!” concluded the kidneys.

 

So the shit, a little offended by the comments to be honest, said:

  • “OK, OK. In two weeks you’ll be begging me to be the boss of this body”

And the meeting was adjourned without the organs agreeing on who the boss was.

 

But the shit had a plan to become the boss. And he refused to leave the body.

 

After two days the first stomach cramps appeared. And the shit refused to leave the body.

After four days the vomiting began, the blood pressure went up and the abdominal pains started. The heart had to beat faster and the lungs had to work harder to oxygenate the blood and the shit refused to leave the body.

A week later came the hemerroides. The sphincter suffered a fissure and the anus started bleeding. The blood pressure rose and the body got a fever. Abscesses appeared in the lungs. The digestive system failed, the intestine became inflamed and the liver stopped filtering the blood. And the shit refused to leave the body.

After ten days the intestine became infected and the first signs of dysentery appeared. The brain suffered an aneurysm and an intracranial hemorrhage. The body went into a coma and the shit refused to leave the body.

After twelve days the colon burst and the liver failed. The kidneys died, the heart suffered multiple strokes and the shit refused to leave the body.

After the two weeks were over, the organs surrendered.

  • “Please shit, you’re right… you’re the boss in this body. We give up”

And the shit left the body.

 

This story has two morals:

  1. Any little shit can be your boss.
  2. When your boss is a little shit, the best thing he can do is bugger off and leave you in peace to do your job.